Financial services, packaged goods, consignment shops – they couldn’t be more different from one another, but when it comes to the business end of things, they all have (at least) one thing in common: a menu of their offerings that (hopefully) includes product descriptions.
When writing Web copy, we generally take the approach that if you write directly to the consumer, your business is more likely to appeal to the consumer – but what exactly does that mean?
Targeting Product Descriptions to the Consumer
Well, for starters, if I’m the consumer and I’m in the market for your good or service, odds are that I’m not going to purchase it if I can’t tell what it is that I’m signing up for. For example, if I’m looking for someone to do my taxes, a bullet under your service menu that says “Tax Preparation” is a good start, but really doesn’t tell me much. That said, telling me that it “includes a full analysis of assets and receipts, leveraging my 20+ years of experience” is a better start. Tell me your average return, your guarantee, etc. Tell me what I’m getting. This is the purpose of a product description – it’s your opportunity to sell to me, the consumer.
Sounds like common sense, right? Well, apparently not everyone thinks so … and the proof is all over the Internet.
Not to emblazon anyone with a “product description scarlet letter” or anything, but we’re fans of visuals. So let’s take a few moments to get up close and personal with the good, the bad, and ugly of product description writing.
Product Description Examples: The Good, the Bad, and the Awful
Product Description #1: Anchor Lampshade
This anchor lamp shade will look great in any room! The fabric on the shade is navy and white striped with a navy anchor. Great for a cottage, beach house or nautical nursery. The lamp shade measures 4 x 11 x 7.
Verdict: Awful
The only truly redeeming thing about this product description is that there is one. On the plus side, it includes the sizes with a basic description, but it misses a huge opportunity to sell to the consumer.
Truth be told, nautical themes are big right now, and buyers have tons of options available to them. While the $24.99 price tag isn’t bad, it isn’t so mind blowing that it alone will lasso that buyer. To improve this description, the company should paint a better picture of the setting, describing the fabric that is used – doing so can sell a feeling of ruggedness, luxury, or even adorableness for that perfect nursery that will entrance buyers and have them picturing it in their own homes.
Product Description #2: Perfect 40 Set Led Chinese Round White Paper Lanterns 6” 8” 10” 12” 14” 16” 18” Wedding Party Floral Event Sky Decoration with Led Lights
Paper Lantern decorate with Led is the latest trendy decoration for wedding and parties. Our handmade paper lanterns in a wide range of sizes can be used for anything, from arts crafts to wedding decoration. These colorful lanterns are a quick and easy way to add sophistication to a formal gathering or to brighten up a dinner party. They can also be painted and decorated making them perfect for fun activities!
The Led is battery operated, just twist and hang inside the lantern, it can last for approx 8 hours.
Please visit our shops for varies size and color of lantern for you to mix and match
Package include:
Paper Lantern Size and Quantity:
5 Piece 6” White Paper Lantern
5 Piece 8” White Paper Lantern
5 Piece 10” White Paper Lantern
10 Piece 12” White Paper Lantern
5 Piece 14” White Paper Lantern
5 Piece 16” White Paper Lantern
5 Piece 18” White Paper Lantern
Paper Lantern mini Led: 40”
Verdict: Meh Bordering on Better than Average
This product description actually does a nice job of pointing out the versatility and benefits of the product (i.e., add sophistication, brighten up a party, customize it with painting, etc.). Additionally, it describes to buyers exactly what they are getting, down to the sizes and quantities. However, we simply cannot overlook the numerous typos and poor English – never mind the awkward product name. There are signs of potential here, but it still needs a bit of finesse. That said, if I was in the market for Chinese lanterns, this would make my list of final options …
Product Description #3: PNF LTD Equil Smart Pen for All Apple Devices
The Big Idea Happens On Paper – Don’t Risk Losing It
The Equil smartpen captures your thoughts at your pace, transferring notes in real-time from any kind of paper – cocktail napkin to notebook – straight to your iPod, iPhone, iPad, or computer. Whether you’re a student, business professional, or artist, is the easy way to seamlessly take your handwritten innovations from paper to digital. Unlike other smartpens, Equil works with any type of paper – no special dot matrixes or paper required.
Equil streams your handwritten notes and sketches to digital through two free apps – Equil Note for writing and Equil Sketch for creative work. Equil Note lets you create, edit, and store written notes. Using folders, text-editing tools, and tags, Equil Note lets you easily organize and access all of your notes from any device. Equil Sketch lets you get creative and capture your vision digitally without losing the pen-to-paper element of the drawing process. You can build each sketch in layers, allowing you to easily morph your vision immediately and in the future. Both apps offer a variety of editing and collaboration tools and are available in the App Store.
- Compatible with any type of paper- You are not required to purchase a specific brand of paper or to print a template from home- works on any kind of paper cocktail napkin to notebook
- Bluetooth Connection- Equil instantly syncs with any Apple device (iOS 5 or higher or Mac OS 10.7 lion or above), so you can see your creation appear in real-time on your screen • Dedicated Apps- Two complementary apps Equil Note for writing and Equil Sketch for creative Export your work in Photoshop and PDF
- Cloud function- With the Equil Note and Equil Sketch apps, any Equil creation can be quickly shared using Facebook, Twitter, Dropbox, or email and accessed from anywhere using Dropbox or iCloud
- Custom gestures- Customize your pen’s gestures in the app settings to easily create new pages, undo/redo/unlock, move to the next or previous page, and more.”
Verdict: This One’s Got Legs
This product description gets to the point, letting the buyer know exactly what they’re getting as well as the basics of how it works. As an added bonus, it gives insight as to how this product differs from its competition, making it easy for the consumer to differentiate it while shopping and comparing items of consideration. Not to mention, it’s informative but still interesting to read. It’s long enough to describe the product along with its features and benefits, but not so long that it rivals “War and Peace.” Two thumbs up.
So What Makes a Product Description Great?
In being fair, there are plenty of reasons that product descriptions fail to impress – for starters, many small business owners are racing against the clock and numerous other demands that come along with running their own business. Writing witty descriptions is simply not at the top of their list. That’s why we’re here.
Writing product descriptions is a different kind of writing – one that requires the skill to make descriptive copy interesting and detailed, but not so detailed that it becomes lengthy or dry. It requires an ability to paint a picture in words in a tone that is appropriate for the business that description serves.
Great product descriptions should:
- Be interesting to read, yet informative.
- Be long enough to describe the exact benefits and deliverables, but not overly lengthy.
- Be clear – enough said. • Be comparative – how does your product differ from the competition?
- Be un-cliché – how effective are manufacturer-claimed descriptive terms anyway? (Think “excellent,” “quality,” or “world class.)
- Back it up – include a link to a product video or demonstration.
- Be “scanable” – how often do you read every word of a product description? Make yours something readers can scan – bullets, accent fonts, and layouts are a great way to do this.
Sure, it’s easier said than done – that’s why we’re here.